What Is Unconditional Love In A Relationship – Giving and not expecting anything back is the essence of love. ~ Oscar Wilde

“Give and do not expect a return.” How many of us know how to love like that? How many of us have loved like that? We are imperfect beings in an imperfect world. We may think we love unconditionally, but whenever we are disappointed by the words or actions of someone we love, we may not love as unconditionally as we like to think.

What Is Unconditional Love In A Relationship

I’ve been thinking about this because it’s almost Mother’s Day and there are so many posts and images that talk about unconditional love from mothers – as if all mothers love is unconditional, all the time. If we’re lucky, we’ll experience moments of unconditional love from parents, as parents, as partners in relationships, with friends we cherish. Rarely are we loved absolutely unconditionally all the time; rarely do we love unconditionally all the time.

Unconditional Love Vs Unconditional Relationships

We are born with unconditional love and complete trust. As babies, we learn very quickly which behaviors and actions are rewarded and which are not. Adapting to the expectations and conditions of the people around us is a matter of survival.

We know our mental qualities when we are very young, before we learn the concepts of right and wrong, good and evil. We know our mental qualities before we build structures around us that we delude ourselves into believing are true and necessary for survival. We shape life to fit in, and we shape ourselves by trying to make other people happy.

Unconditional love is a practice that begins with unconditional love for yourself. The more you can be in a place of unconditional love for yourself, the more you open portals to receiving unconditional love. Can you love another person completely without judging who they are, what they say, or how they act? Then you offer unconditional love.

I learned about unconditional love by realizing the times I was “loved” with conditions – conditions that often asked me to be someone I wasn’t, to be there for another person at the expense of myself. This relationship showed me who I am not and where I do not love and accept myself.

Unconditional Love: What Is It & How Do You Find It?

I learned about unconditional love through my cats, who also came into the world loving and trusting unconditionally. They remind me of the simplicity of life.

I have learned about unconditional love through my children and the hopes and dreams I have for them to succeed in life. When we consider what it means, we often have an idea of ​​what success means and looks like, and it carries expectations or conditions that we are not always aware of. Giving up expectations and personal hopes for our children’s lives is an act of love. We also place our hopes and expectations on our parents and our siblings and how we want them to be in life and in their relationships with us. Letting go of our expectations and judgments is an act of love that paves the way for unconditional love. And I say this knowing full well that there are relationships that are so toxic that there is no way to heal them within the relationship – just the ability to heal yourself by unconditionally loving yourself and trusting yourself.

And I learned about unconditional love through my relationship with my partner and our love for each other. This is as close as possible to an unconditional partnership, imbued with mutual love, honor, honesty and respect. And this is a daily practice. My younger sister Jubilee is only ten. She was the child of our big family all her life. However, this will not always be the case. Soon we will have a sister, nine-year-old Maggie from Eastern Europe. Maggie spent the summer and Christmas holidays with us this year and we hope to have her home for good next summer. Jubilee and Maggie get along surprisingly well, but there are inevitable moments of jealousy and arguments. In Jubilee’s attempts to “pick her battles” and make Maggie feel happy and wanted, she tends to backfire a bit. I always have to remind her to stand up for herself. Maggie doesn’t need to eat her candy

However, sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself. Not that I’ve ever disliked my sisters (though Maggie tempts even me sometimes, being so adorable and all!), but I used to believe that unconditional love and conditional relationships could never go hand in hand.

Does Unconditional Love Make For Healthy Relationships?

Ann Shirley said, “Soul mates aren’t nearly as rare as I used to think,” and I have to agree with her. You can find something in common with almost everyone and often, with a little effort and attention, a stranger can become a friend. However, my personal experience of friendship has been difficult. My friends over the years have often cheated on me or felt that I cheated on them. I’ve made my share of mistakes and feelings have been hurt. Friends have left the faith, made bad lifestyle choices, moved away, lost interest in our friendship, and disappeared. There was drama, tearful arguments, nightly prayers for reconciliation.

In one of my many conversations with my mom about why I choose the worst friends (or, in other words, why do I keep losing friends?), she reminded me that Jesus chose each of his twelve disciples, even Judas. Was he surprised when Peter denied him, Judas betrayed him, and Thomas doubted? I doubt it. But he still invested in the relationship.

It’s a gamble we take when we make friends. Some you win, some you lose. In most relationships, you do a little bit of both. An issue I often stumble over is unconditional love vs. unconditional friendship. I believe that in the Bible we are commanded to love unconditionally. To love as God loves is to love well, always. He does not stop loving us when we oppose Him, and we should not stop loving a friend when he becomes an enemy. However, this does not mean that we are commanded to give unconditional friendship to everyone or anyone.

There are times when a relationship becomes unhealthy or meaningless and it really is best to end it. It’s hard because anyone who was ever a true friend will miss and mourn, but it can be necessary and good. Some girls feel guilty for not accepting the problems their boyfriends have. You are not ordered to take on everyone else’s problems! You are commanded to love but not to enter into certain relationships, and there is a difference. Friendship is not a covenantal relationship like marriage. You are under no obligation, under God, to “work through” everything. If a friendship or romantic relationship has become hurtful, destructive, or a source of sin, you will glorify God more by ending it than by “being around” someone.

Unconditional Love: How To Increase Your Happiness By Loving Without Reservations By Kisha Monique Houston

I have had friends who were deeply offended by this philosophy. They believed that if my friendship with them was important to me, I would put it above all else. I have had to put my convictions before friendship more than once. It’s not easy because I feel like a terrible friend, but I’ve also made new friends who respect me not despite my beliefs, but because of them.

Boundaries are essential to all relationships, and so are conditions. Scripture even makes a point of condoning divorce in very specific circumstances. Of course, we shouldn’t be friends with another woman and be there for them, supporting their every decision no matter what. In fact, confrontation is the mark of a true, godly friend! Friendship should not be a contract that reads, “You hereby vow to be geographically and emotionally available to me, agree with and support me, fulfill my every wish, and please me to the best of your ability for eternity.” Friendship should be a gift between two people who enjoy each other’s company, have similar tastes or goals, and feel that they are pleasing and glorifying God through their interactions.

Although love has no boundaries, humans do. While love should be unconditional, relationships are not. A true friend stays true to himself by being as kind and loving as possible.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival.’ -C.S. Lewis

Unconditional Love: Perfecting Human Relationships Marriage

Caroline Rose Sanders is a children’s book author, church lady, and the wife of her teenage crush-turned-lifelong love. When she’s not thrifting for vintage books or hiking with her husband, she can be found sharing her heart at @BecomingWisdom on Instagram. Sometimes the Universe keeps two beautiful Souls apart to make them love each other without complaint. This separates them from the parade stuff. Iconoclasm from circumambulation and funeral practice. However, always infuse them with the essence of pure love. This is strength

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